Gue ambil gambar ini dari video yang diupload oleh lightokdio di YouTube sebagai pengantar lagu Daughter, an old song from Pearl Jam. Lagu ini bercerita tentang seorang anak perempuan pengidap disleksia dengan ibu megalomaniak yang percaya bahwa juara satu adalah segalanya. Gue emang fans Pearl Jam, jadi so pasti suka lagu ini. Musiknya asyik, liriknya meaningful, dan meski saat itu gue ngerti artinya, tapi ternyata baru beberapa hari ini gue mendadak jadi mellow kalo denger lagu ini. Nelangsa. Pengen mewek mulu. Maybe this is only the soft side of my motherly calling, whatever-lah, or just a guilty mom side yang kalo saat ngajarin anaknya belajar pake stress en teriak-teriak :(. Just look at this young girl. Look at her eyes. Owkeh, gue mewek lagi. Saking mellow-nya, akhirnya kepikiran pengen translate liriknya Daughter. Let’s try these.
She said to me over the phone. She wanted to see other people. I thought, “Well, look around, they’re everywhere”. Said that she was confused. I thought, “Darling, join the club”.
24 years old, mid-life crisis. Nowadays hits you, when you’re young.
I hung up, she called back. I hung up again, the process had already started. At least it happened quick. I swear I died, inside, that night.
My friend he called, I didn’t mention a thing. The last thing he said was, be sound, sound…
I contemplated in a awfull thing, I hate to admit. I just thought those would be such appropriate. Last words, but I’m still here, and small, so small…
How could this struggle seem so big? So big…
While the palm in the breeze still blow green. And the waves in the sea still absolute blue. But the horror. Every single thing I see is a reminder of her. Never thought I’d curse the day I met her. And since she’s gone and wouldn’t hear. Who would care? What good would that do? But I’m still here.
So I imagine in a month or 12. I’ll be somewhere having a drink. Laughing at a stupid joke. Or just another stupid thing. And I can see myself stopping short. Drifting out of the present. Sucked by the under tow and pulled out deep. And there I am, standing.
Wet grass and white headstones, all in rows. And in the distance, there’s one, off on its own. So I stop, kneel, my new home. And I picture a sober awakening.
A re-entry into this little bar scene. Sip my drink til the ice hits my lip. Order another round. And that’s it for now. Sorry. Never been too good at happy endings.
This song is written by an extraordinary talented man named Eddie Vedder, dedicated to every single human who contemplate at awfull things, struggling for horror days, and never been too good at happy endings, but always keep standing.